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2017 Cometh

Hi Beijing, how are you? Did you eat/ drink/ psychically communicate too much at Christmas? Of course you did and now Carrie Fischer and George Michael are dead thanks to karmic backlash of your gluttony. Just kidding of course, and it sucks that those two great folks passed, but hey, as Wayne Coyne asked “Do you realise that everyone you know someday will die?” 2017 is nearly upon us and I’m sure some more famous people will die but I bet a bunch of people will be born too, and maybe one of those people will grow up to the drug addled homosexual icon of a rebellion in a far distant galaxy. And the circle will be complete.

Thursday, the open mic is going down at Lush in Wudaokou from 8p.m. Yeeeeeesssssssss! Oasis covers where you forget the chords halfway through or a gaggle of drunken bros from BLCU deciding to offer up some enlightening renditions of Rage Against The Machine and Backstreet Boys. Gonna be siiiiiiiiiiick. Otherwise there is always Super School Fighter at School with post rock/psych madness from The White Paper, Fengsu, and Qian Chuan Yao Dian from 9p.m.

Friday, Live Beijing Music are throwing down the sequined glove with an end of year rager at Hot Cat with Panic Worm, USISI, The Dice!, The Sino Hearts, and Backspace from 8p.m or something close to that. Expect loud sounds and fancy hoboness all night long. Meanwhile down the hutong DJs Baya, Black Potion, and Dizzy Di will be playing their favourite Frank Sinatra records at No.46 Fangjia Hutong from 9p.m. A few hutongs over Electric Lady, One Hung Low, Ghetto Blaster, Derby Day, and The Loser will be getting retro at School from 9p.m, maaaaaaaan. Yuzhe Song and Zhangjian will be screaming about their favourite flavours of ice cream at Yue Space from 9p.m, and over in the westside the Macao Rock Youth tour will be stopping by 13 Club with After Two Weeks, Zenith and more from 9p.m.

Saturday is the last day of 2016 which probably means you’ll be talking about how this year can suck a hard one or eat a bag of dicks on account of loads of famous people dying, but put that in context: in 1350 most of Europe was dying of the black death; in 1945 people were straight up using nuclear weapons on each other; in about 30 years Tongzhou will most likely be underwater and the Gobi desert will be reaching Changping. To celebrate the end of crappy but no means worst year ever Human Centipede, The Diders, Ouch, Secret Club, The Twenties, and Byebye Noise will be getting punk rawk at School from 9p.m and GoodbyeSunset, Summon Soul, Kepler, and more will be ringing in the New Year at 13 Club from 9p.m.

Sunday: yo 2017, what up? Got any great pop music coming my way? Oh, I’m sure, I’m sure. To ring in the first day of what will probably be a year full of famous people dying and people get antdy on social media about it Long Shendao will be playing at Morgansky Lab from 9p.m and AV Okubo will be say bye to their drummer with a gig at Yue Space from 8p.m.

Next week, the first of 2017. Monday: Hedgehog will celebrate 10 years in the game at Morgansky Lab from 9p.m. Caravan will also be hosting their open mic from 9p.m. Tuesday: plague, pestilence, analog synths. Wednesday: DDC’s massive jam from 9p.m.

That's it , see you in 2017. Bye.