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Happy Birfday Temple

Hi Beijing. How are you? I’m in Wales.It’s raining, there’s loads of sheep, and street signs look like a scrabbleboard has thrown up on them. I like Wales a lot. Soon I will return to the hazyhutongs and occasionally turn up to a rock show to stand at the back and nodapprovingly or else go to Rec Room to stand at the back and think about how thekick drum sound could be improved. I will be doing neither this week at Templeas they sacrifice innocents by the cauldron load to celebrate six years ofworshipping Satan and shots that make you go blind. I will raise a glass from afar and toast to six more years of loud noises and poor choices at 4a.m.

 

Today is Thursday as yesterday I was looking out of a car window and watching the amount of sheepon the landscape steadily increase. It was exciting. The Temple birthday rally has already been ongoingfor a couple of nights but today they ramp it up a notch with some punk rockand full frontal nudity with DuffBeer, Last Resort, Krankenwagen der Liebe, Tumor Boy, and DJ Benny Hill from 9p.m.Meanwhile at School Wasted LAIKA,Ghetto Blaster, and Boss Cuts will hawking contraband beanie babies for 9:30p.m. There will also be a freeconcert at BlueStream featuring a really heavy punch to your abdomen when you’re least expectingit. From 9p.m.

 

Friday open a fresh bag of weekend as thesacrifices continue at Temple with WHAI, Gumbleed, Outsiders, and DJ Skinnyluckycat from 9p.m. You’re not hip unless yourhead spins round whilst you projectile vomit on those around you. At School All Unknown, Zingway, Goodbye Sunset, Fanmianr, Pure Band,and Add FireWorkers will be tap dancingfor loose change from 9p.m. At Morgansky Lab Panda Part, Bass Guo, Negative 808 and more will be complaining about adead parrot from 9p.m. Somebody called Joseeh Punmanlon will be at 13Club talking about hisfavourite brand of tennis shoes or something from 9p.m. And Elvis T will be at Lantern from 11p.m or something, playing technoand threatening to shiv Joseeh Punmanlon if he dares so much as to look at hisblue suede tennis shoes.

 

Saturday, the Templesacrifice ramps up to an orgy of bloodlust and tequila shots with Scare the Children, Acid Accident,plus a mysteryband (it might be Oasis).All that from 10p.m. Meanwhile DDC haverecovered from the hangover of their own birthday bash last week and haveopened their doors for Live Beijing Music’s ‘Summer Stockmarketmeltdown’ with Last Goodbye, Agoraphobia, 5th Dimension, Ambient Intelligence,and more (including a Fancy Hobodoing a striptease) from 9p.m. At School apparently the hutong hipster is dead due to the farewell show for Paper Tigers, with the Swinging Barbarellas, The Hunters, Electric Lady, and Lovely Ambulance from 9p.m. And over at Lantern it’s club night. Usual faces, techno until the sun comes up pretty much.

 

Sunday, the ritual sacrifices finally come toan end at Temple with rock trivia including questionsabout how many Death Stars Filthy Bill consumed on a typical Saturday night,followed by the burning of heathens from EA bar downstairs to the tunes of the Swinging Barbarellas, Boss Cuts,and DJStringray. All that from9p.m. For something slightly less Satanic check out The Freezing Coral at School from9p.m.

 

Next week: On MondaySalvorLatino will beat Modernista for their weekly residencyof music to make drunk people shake their rainmakers to from 10p.m. On Tuesday it’s the jazz jam at Jianghu from 9p.m, where veganchefs go to scowl. Next Wednesday, it’s the Floso workshop where they’ll be teachingyou how to remix bananas and avocados to make a delightful summer time treatthat is both refreshing and low fat.

Bye Beijing.