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Notes From The Airport

Hi Beijing, how are you? I’m at an airport currently, I seem to have been at a lot of them recently. In fact a lot of people I know are going to be at airports in the coming weeks. It is that time of year, when the mercury rises and those who can flee to more gentle pastures. Those who cannot on the otherhand, flee to the bar. If you are of the second variety may your heart fill will glee, for the next week there’s some darn tooting good clean fun to be had.


Today is Thursday because I was too busy packing to write this thing yesterday. I’m sorry if the lack of Dann Says ruined your life. Tonight you chill at the Pretty Cold Anniversary Party at Rec Room with Zein, Kyle Page, and Edna Ether from 10p.m. Meanwhile Redundant Seconds will be at Yue Space hurling burning bags of dog poo from the stage. 9p.m start. And — stop the press — the Lush open mic is going to be banging like a swing door in a hurricane from 9p.m.


Tomorrow is Friday and precisely 0.00006% of the city’s population will be cooling off by going for a dip in Houhai. Meanwhile Liu Dongming’s album release show will be going down at Yue Space, providing they’ve managed to clean the burnt dog mess off the walls. 9p.m start. The Plum Trees will be unplugging at 69 Cafe, dropping trou, and doing the Salmon from 9p.m. Cyclops from Henan will be at School Bar with 0190, FangMianEr, and Crabox from 9p.m, and an after party for something called Vhils (which may or may not be contagious) will be going down at Lantern from 11p.m.


Saturday, powdered donuts make Trump go nuts. Lethargic Beijing Manatees presents their latest show-boating show-case of show stopping showmen, with Schoolhouse Vol. 3. Backspace, She Never Sings Our Songs, Foster Parents, and Boiled Hippo will be getting real at School Bar from 9p.m. Over at Temple don’t call it a farewell show, with Macondo, Hotline, By Dream, and the final hurrah from The Death Narcissist from 10p.m until Carlo pukes out of his eyes. At Yue Space it’s the launch for the Subtrainian TV show about a expat business man who carries out a series of grizzly murders inspired by the seven deadly sins and then makes Brad Pitt cry. Music from NZT, Hard Candy Revolution, Joker’s Belief, The Peppercorns, Better Off Alive, and Disaster Chat from 9p.m. Finally at Lantern it’s their club night with DK, Louis Fu, Yang Bing and more from 11p.m till late.


Sunday. Sadness. Hangovers. Regrets. A Fancy Hobo passed out under your coffee table. All the evidence of a wonderful night. After you awake the Fancy Hobo by poking him with a gold plated broom you should both watch the live stream my wife did when we were in Thailand where I claimed worshipping Satan is the key to good cooking. You can learn a lot from that video. Later take the Fancy Hobo on an outing to Yue Space for Sweet Summer’s Eve courtesy of Beijing Underground featuring Macondo, WHAI, Su & The Paramecia, Djang San and Band, and Coupla Cups from 9p.m.


Next week: failure, generally. Monday; get some Salvor Latino at Modernista from 10p.m until the sun comes up. It’s OK if you can’t dance, there’s plenty of room to lurk. Also world renowned cryptozoologist David Thomas Broughton will be at Mogu Space talking about how he chooses to wash his socks from 9p.m.Tuesday; world renowned cryptozoologist David Thomas Broughton will be talking about how he doesn’t actually wear socks at Yue Space from 9p.m. Also jazz jam at Jianghu, changing lives from 9p.m. Finally next Wednesday, the Floso workshop, teaching y’all how to make fried eggs out of paper clips and cat fur.


Beijing, fare me well.