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Half Way to 2018

Hi Beijing, how are you? You are now more than half way through 2018. How do you feel about that? Are you pleased? Are you proud? Are you terrified? I suggest you make up for lost time right now and do all the stuff you planned to do on January 1, but totally haven’t. Join that gym, buy the clarinet, and start finger painting classes at your local community center. Then go to all of the following splendid musical disasters. ALL OF THEM.


Today is Wednesday and that means it’s the weekly Floso workshop courtesy of Ran Music, teaching y’all how not to contract the HIV virus in Ableton Live and how to make bangin’ techno beats from 7p.m. Meanwhile you get out your house and go play with your smart phone at Dada with background muzak courtesy of Watermelon, Darcy, and Hotwill from 10p.m.


Tomorrow is Thursday and it’s a Colombian digital future party at Temple (I love those!) featuring La Pulpa, Ambient Intelligence, and Default from 10p.m. At the same time French bosa nova champs Shut Up! Twist Again will be at School with support from Duff Beer from 9p.m. Meanwhile Better Off Alive, D.Cortisol, and Dan Taylor & Heike Kagler will be talking about how much they love their wrap around (shanzhai) Oakley sunglasses at DDC from 9p.m also. Finally, The Uyghur Sama Band will be at Yue Space, ruining lives and taking names from 9p.m.


Friday is when the magnificent peasantry begins. Seriously, it’s going to get full on feudal out there. If you missed La Pulpa on Thursday you can catch them this time around with support from The Hunters at DDC from 9p.m. Meanwhile there’s a tale of three cities or something with Silent Speech, Lattice, Antitune, and Mons. Boulevard at School from 9p.m. Star Band will be releasing their EP with support from Zhege at Yue Space from 9p.m too. fRUITYSPACE are going in a new direction by teaming up with a giant big black bird. It will be pecking people’s heads clean off at the launch party while Marukao and Major play some tunes in the background from 9p.m. It’s ‘Sound From the South’ at Dada with Su, Pei, and Blue from 11p.m until you wake up on train bound for Guangzhou, and at Lantern Watermelon, Edison, Weng Weng and many more will be dropping it like it’s warm from 11p.m.


Saturday, erm, taxidermy, ponchos, get locked in a pub for 28 hours on purpose. That’s basically an average Saturday in my hometown and Beijing is my home from home, so why not?  Anki Zhao’s photo exhibition be going off with music from Pacalolo, Larry’s Pizza, Glow Curve, DJ Joy Ginger, and Dr. Liu and The Human Centipede at School from 9p.m. Tavey Lean and the Solid Obsidian Nightmare Machine will be at DDC channeling more of a Hieronymus Bosch influence compared to their previous performances. The world ends at 9p.m. At Yue Space it’s the P.O.E EP release with support from Jinsfake, Southside Samurai, Truis Dirty Moss, and Missy from 9p.m. Open DJ night at fRUITYSPACE, I suggest you just go and jack in a recording of an e-bike alarm on infinite loop from 9p.m. It’s Prajnasonic O’clock at Dada with Punx, VU, Zaliva-D, Noise & Noise, Fencha, and Liia from 11p.m, and at around the same time it’s Lantern’s club night with Yang Bing, DK and more.

Sunday, mourn another week of your life you will never get back unless you invent a time machine (you’re never going to invent a time machine). For a day time spectacle head to DDC and dig Yu Miao and Dan Taylor (who will still be talking about how much he loves his wrap around knock-off Oakley sunglasses) from 3p.m. Randy Abel bids Beijing farewell after many years with some friends at Caravan. Come out and wish him bon voyage from 9p.m as he travels to the U.K the next day. Beijing will be a less honky tonk place without him. At School boogie on down to The Story Teller, Sofa, Kuso Eyes and more from 9p.m. And it’s the art attack at fRUITYSPACE where you are encouraged to make figurative representations of your enemies dying in horrific circumstances from 8p.m.

Next week: On Monday Salvor Latino will be at Modernista for their weekly residency of hip shakin’ music from 10p.m. On Tuesday it’s the jazz jam at Jianghu from 9p.m, where geography teachers go to forget. And next Wednesday it’s the Floso workshop where the regulars will be staging an amateur dramatic version of ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’

Enjoy Beijing.